Five Stages of Acceptance in Divorce

We always associate trauma therapy with losing a loved one or severe mental or emotional distress. Divorce is severe emotional distress, and anyone going through this trauma may be helped by speaking with a counselor or therapist. This is in recognition that divorce is not just a legal matter, but also a highly emotional matter.

Regardless, below are the five stages of grief you may experience while going through divorce:

Denial

It is not uncommon for spouses to deny that the divorce process will go forward.  And so they may ignore correspondence received from the other spouse’s attorney or waive of the other spouse’s movement towards divorce as “just a phase.”

Anger

Spouses may experience anger while going through divorce.  Anger at the other spouse for wanting the divorce, anger at themselves for perceived failures, and anger at the world for being a place where divorce happens.

Bargaining

Spouses may attempt to bargain to avoid the divorce.  They may attempt to bargain with the other spouse (“What if I spend less time at work?”), bargain with God (“If I pray will you make this stop?”), and bargain with themselves (“If I start caring about others then this won’t happen”).

Depression

At some point in the divorce, it is not uncommon for a spouse to feel that all is lost, or that he or she will never recover from this trauma.  At this stage it is most important to reach out to friends and loved ones for support and to consider speaking with someone who has the proper mental health training.

Acceptance

Finally, spouses come to accept the divorce and know that they can and will move forward.